The Struggle

The last few months have been a struggle. You may have experienced this phenomenon also, wherein when one hard thing happens, it makes all the others harder to bear. At the end of August, my grandmother died. We were very close. The simple tasks like going to work suddenly became very difficult, and the tasks that are already a challenge—like striving for a writing career after years of minimal progress—became unbearable.

Normally, I can recognize that there is a place for sorrowful emotions, and that place is not the task at hand. I can focus on what I need to get done in the moment and schedule in some time to cry later on, like into the pillow. But it all came to a head recently where every single thought I had was one of discouragement, and my despair became so acute that I didn’t even know how to get back to the task at hand. It frightened me. I felt trapped by my hopelessness, the sense that everything I do is futile, that I can’t keep up so there is no point in trying. Some dear friends helped me pray through that discouragement so that I could once again hear that God hasn’t abandoned me and He’s walking this path with me.

The discouragement isn’t gone—it keeps trying to make a resurgence. Which is why, at this time of year, I’m going to take a brief respite from the never-ending schedule of blog posts and writing novels and trying to wrangle social media just to be thankful for a few things.

The Blessings

First and foremost, I am thankful for my faithful God, who has promised good for me. I can trust that He will bring goodness and blessing even though it may not be on my timeline. I’ve wanted to be a published author since I finished my first book series at age 14—that’s a long time to wait. I’m also grateful that I wasn’t published then—every year that has passed has brought a growth in my skill and deepening in my soul that better prepare me for when that happy day actually comes.

I’m grateful that God has brought me someone to encourage me at all the darkest times, from my friends a few weeks ago to the keynote speaker at a writers’ conference last year, who out of the blue passed me the baton—literally—to write hope and truth for this world. I appreciate the constant support of my family in every aspect of my life.

I give thanks for the gifts God has given me, of which writing is one, and the joys that they can bring me. I offer my gratitude for my beautiful home in Colorado and the stunning sunrises every morning that demonstrate that God’s mercies are new every day. He is faithful to bring beauty out of the darkness and hardship.

There are countless more things to be grateful for—enough to fill up pages and pages while just getting started—but these are a few from a writer’s heart. As the winter draws near, I hope you can continue to see the goodness that lights up these darkening days, and draw from it strength and joy.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

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